There’s More Than One Way to Skin a Chicken…So Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover!

Hopefully my two awful clichés caught your attention, at least enough to read on!  As you can tell from my past blogs, I LOVE breastfeeding and I’m a complete and total “Lactivist”.    There are at least 1000 reasons why I think everyone should breastfeed, including all of the physical and emotional health benefits for the child.   I believe that we need to educate more people on these benefits – women, men, children, doctors, nurses, etc.   We need to educate society as a whole so that breastfeeding is the norm, not the exception and so that breastfeeding is not thought of as a sexual or perverted act.  We need to educate society so that nursing mamas aren’t ridiculed, harassed and/or put down.   I know that so many times in the past, I’ve been made to feel “weird” by some formula feeding mamas.

But that being said, I also know that so many breastfeeding mamas (myself included) can sometimes come off as being a breastfeeding snob – feeling superior for having breastfed (and for some of us who continue to breastfeed!) our children.   

I’ve thought a lot about it.   There are many reasons why some women do not breastfeed.  Yes, lack of education on breastfeeding is a big reason.  Another reason is lack of support.  Plus, there are many physical and emotional reasons why a woman might not breastfeed (notice I didn’t say “choose”…because, sometimes it really isn’t a choice on their part…) So, these mamas do what they think is “next best”*. 

Whether you are a momma who breastfeeds or a momma who gives formula, we ALL have something in common.  We all want what’s best for our children.    At the time, we all made the best decisions we could with the resources and information we had on hand.   Parenting is difficult.  No question about it.  We’re constantly making decisions that affect our children.  All we can do is try our best to make the right decision at that time.  Then we just hope it doesn’t negatively affect our families in the short or long term.  It can be very confusing and frustrating, especially since we receive a lot of conflicting information from family, friends, doctors, nurses and the media.    What all mothers need is support, not criticism.

The point I’m trying to make is that we all have the same goal in mind (we all want to skin that chicken!) – To raise self sufficient, loving, healthy intelligent children who will be productive members of society.  Even though, breastfeeding might be the best way to arrive there, there are other ways to arrive there as well (more than one way to skin that chicken!).  We need to not be so judgmental.  (Don’t judge harshly those books with formula on the cover instead of breast milk.)

Please, keep educating and supporting everyone you can about breastfeeding.  Keep breastfeeding your child(ren) in public.  Keep applauding those you see breastfeeding in public.  There is still much work needed to be done!  But also, please be tolerant.  Please be kind to those who don’t breastfeed.  Please don’t be quick to assume that they made that choice because they didn’t care.  Take the time to listen to their story.  Please be supportive of them on their parenting journey, even if they are on a different road than you are. 

*”Next Best” – Formula actually is not the next best thing.  The pecking order (there I go with my chicken analogy) is as follows: 1.) Nursing baby at your breast. 2.) Giving baby your expressed milk. 3.) Having another person nurse baby at their breast (like a wet nurse of olden days). 4.) Giving your baby donor milk from another mama. 5.) Formula.  ~ According to La Leche League International