Nibbles on Nipples

Since Miss T’s first tooth erupted at six months of age, I’ve been frequently asked, “How can you nurse now that your daughter has all those teeth?”  People still cringe when they find out that I’m “still breastfeeding” and stammer,  ”but what about all of those teeth?”  There are currently 16 of “those teeth” in her little mouth.

I did worry a little bit about what would happen once T had teeth, but I just trusted that it would all work out.  And it did.  And it does for every mom that I know. 

When T first acquired her teeth, her two front bottom teeth came in within days of each other, she did bite a little.  This was an entirely new experience for her and she didn’t know exactly what to do or not do.   She learned very quickly, though.  The few times she bit down, I yelped and then firmly said “no” and put her down.  After a few times of that, she quickly caught on and that was it. 

Now that Miss T is a toddler, she sometimes will bite down to get my attention.  She knows exactly what she’s doing and has a mischievous grin on her face as she does it and gauges my reaction.  Again, I tell her “No” and take her off of my breast and put her down somewhere else. 

On a day to day basis, her teeth are not an issue at all and never have been.  She’s more than able to suck without using her teeth and our breastfeeding sessions remain as enjoyable as ever. 

So for any mamas out there who are hesitating to breastfeed beyond infancy because they’re worried about those teeth, let me put your fears to rest.  It’s practically a non-issue and the rewards of nursing a toddler FAR outweigh the possible little nibbles on your nipples, which may or may not happen.  

Why I Am Thankful to Breastfeed My Toddler

This week has been a rather hectic week.   Miss T woke up with a fever over the weekend and then started with a cough and congestion.  My sister, who has been battling anorexia/bulimia was thrown out of the eating disorder clinic she was in because my mom’s health insurance no longer wanted to pay for it.  My mom spent the week fighting with the health insurance over the phone several times a day.  My dad had a bad cough and cold and went to the doctor’s for it.  They did a CT scan and told him that he broke 2 ribs and had pleurisy which wasn’t normal. He’s going to see a pulmonologist next week.  The dreaded “C” word came up in the conversation with his doctor, a few times.  My poor husband works his fingers to the bone trying to provide for our daughter and me and we’re barely making ends meet.   This week was just so overwhelming, that all I could do was sit back and worry. 

But through this all, one thing has remained consistent – my daughter’s breastfeeding.  When she was feverish and didn’t want to eat a bit of solid food, she continued to nurse.  When she was feeling miserable with congestion and nothing could comfort her, she found solace in my breasts.  When things were spinning out of control at “grandma’s house” and our house and mama retreated into a panic, breastfeeding comforted my daughter and provided her with the stability she needed to carry on “business as usual”. 

In this tumultuous world, I wish I had something that could nourish me, treat my physical and emotional health and be a constant in an ever changing world.   I am happy that I am able to provide my toddler with that security.

What are some of the reasons that you are thankful to breastfeed or to have breastfed a toddler?

Memorable Places I’ve Breastfed

For this week’s post I thought I’d so something a little different.  I was thinking about some of the most memorable/weird/funny/different places I’ve breastfed my daughter.   Since we’ve been doing this for 21+months now, we’ve done it just about everywhere!  There are of course the usual places – home, bed, car, play dates, zoo, friend’s house, library, relatives’ homes, synagogue, doctor’s office, grocery store, etc.  But then there are a few places and times that were more memorable for one reason or another that I’d like to share. 

One chilly November day, my daughter and I were visiting friends on their farm.  Though, it was cold, the sun was out and the land was just breath-taking.  So my friend and I decided to take our daughters out for a walk.  She wore her three month old daughter on her, and I wore my daughter on me.  Her daughter conked right out and slept the entire time.  My daughter stayed awake and checked out everything around her.  My daughter and I were kept warm wearing our “Ponchaby” that my extremely creative friend made.  It’s a poncho with two holes – one for mama’s head and one for the baby’s head.  Perfect for baby wearing parents! (Message me if you’d like more info.) Anyhow, we walked for quite a while, enjoying nature’s beauty and good conversation.  About 40 minutes into our work, my daughter was hungry.  She definitely couldn’t wait 40 more minutes until we returned to my friend’s house.  So I guided her head under the Ponchaby and popped out my breast and there she nursed while we continued our walk.  Something about that nursing session was just incredibly awesome to me.  There I was walking and admiring the beauty of nature around me while my daughter was being nourished at my breast – which I consider one of the most beautiful acts of nature.

The next event happened when my daughter was 6 months old.  My daughter and I had accompanied my parents and sister to a Chinese Food buffet.  Towards the end of the meal, my daughter, who was still exclusively breastfed at the time, was hungry.  So I picked her up and breastfed her at the table.  To me, this was a normal event.  However, my parents (including my mom who is pro-breastfeeding and even breastfed me) were horrified and kept insisting that I go to the car.  But I stood my ground.  I had every right to nurse at the table and my daughter had every right to eat at the table.  I breastfed my daughter until she was satisfied.  I felt very proud of myself for not giving in to the “peer pressure” and standing up for my daughter’s rights.

I think you’ll find my next story amusing and at the very least unique.  Every Wednesday, Miss T and I would go to “Wee Read” at our local library.  It’s a program geared to babies and children from newborn to age 3.  The amazing librarian, Mrs. Sousa, leads the parents and children in songs and dances and then we also read a board book together.  My daughter was around 8 months old for this particular event.  I would always wear her in a wrap for the dancing part of the program as she was too heavy to dance around with her without having some support.   Right in the middle of the “Hokey Pokey”, T decided she was hungry and so I popped my boob out for her to eat.  But, I was having so much fun that I didn’t want to stop or sit down….so I continued doing the Hokey Pokey while breastfeeding… “You put your right boob in, you put your boob out, you put your right boob in and you shake it all about…”

Last April, I rented a booth at a local Women’s Expo.  I sell Juice Plus+ (which is fruits and vegetables in a capsule or chewable form; there are no preservatives or weird chemicals in it and there are numerous peer reviewed research studies done on it that have been published in respected medical journals…message me if you’d like more information) and I wanted to promote my business at this Expo.  Since I almost never leave home without my daughter, she was there with me and I wore her all day long as I talked to hundreds if not thousands of people.  Throughout the course of the day, Miss T would nurse and I had my breast out more times than in, as I shared information on Juice Plus.  What was especially pleasing was that I had more than one person tell me how wonderful it was that I was nursing my daughter and how wonderful it was that I was doing it in public!  It really made my day and was very empowering.  We hear all too often, stories of women being shamed by nursing in public that I thought it was beyond wonderful that all I received was positive feedback.

The last story I am going to share happened last July.  My daughter and I went with some friends to a local beach.  It was my daughter’s first time at the beach.  This particular beach was perfect for children because during low tied you can literally walk out for a mile or two and the water is super shallow.    I walked out carrying my daughter and we stopped when the water was at my shins.  I sat down with her so she could feel the water and the sand.  Since this was her first experience, she was quite scared by it at first.  And as soon as she touched the water, she jumped and her immediate instinct was to nurse.  So we sat there, in the middle of the water and she nursed until she was no longer afraid.  Then she had a blast in the water and the sand.  There was something so wonderful about nursing in the water…I can’t really even describe it, except that it must have been a sensory thing…with the waves hitting my body as my baby suckled from my breast.  But whatever the reason, it was amazing and I even have the photo to prove it! (See below).

Where are some interesting places and/or times that you have nursed your child?  Don’t be shy – I want to hear!

Breastfeeding and Vaccinations

I was pondering what to write about this week, when a good friend sent me the below link.  It’s an article which discusses a study that has experts recommending that breast feeding mamas, delay breast feeding after vaccinations. http://vactruth.com/2011/04/05/experts-recommend-delaying-breastfeeding-until-vaccinations-have-taken-effect/ 

The study itself (http://www.greenmedinfo.com/article/vaccination-proponents-have-suggested-breastfeeding-should-be-delayed-order-prevent-immune-f) claims that breastfeeding after vaccination, in particular the Rotavirus vaccination, lessens the potency of the vaccine. 

I have a problem with this.  First of all, though they only tested the Rotavirus vaccine, which happens to be an oral vaccine; but the interpretation, allows for inference that breast feeding lessens the potency for all vaccinations.     

Since the Rotavirus vaccine is given orally, it does stand to reason that taking something by mouth (like breast milk) soon afterwards, could alter it.  Most medications when taken orally, can be altered by taking certain foods or other medications soon after. 

The Rotavirus vaccine contains disabled live viruses.  One of the many wonderful properties of breast milk is that it contains antibacterial and antiviral components.  Its very mechanism is to weaken and/or destroy foreign pathogens.  So, it stands to reason that breast milk would lessen the efficacy of the Rotavirus vaccination.

But is this a bad thing?  I don’t believe so at all because the breast milk is also going to greatly reduce the chance that the child will get Rotavirus to begin with.  If the child does contract Rotavirus, he/she will be able to fight it off thanks to all the immune properties in breast milk. 

I opted to not give my daughter the Rotavirus vaccination for the very reason that I know my breast milk will protect her and help her to build up her own immune system.  Plus, one of the main concerns from Rotavirus is that the child will become quickly dehydrated.  However, breastfeeding children have a much lesser chance of that happening since breast milk is easily digested, easily absorbed and readily hydrates the body. 

I would be remiss, if I didn’t, at this point, delve a little into the vaccine debate. As a first time mom it’s something with which I struggled.

I agonized with the decision about whether to vaccinate my baby or not.   I read so many books and so many internet studies and even talked to a lot of parents.  I researched both sides of the coin.   So when I brought my daughter in for her 2 month check up, I actually left the building without her receiving any vaccinations.  (I had declined all vaccinations at the hospital when she was born.)  However, I also left the doctor’s office crying.  I had to sign a paper stating that I refused vaccinations for my daughter and that I was completely responsible for all consequences (I don’t remember the exact wording as that was 19 months ago, now.  However, that was the gist.)  Before that, the pediatrician had given me a whole lecture and told me that I was basing my choice on emotions rather than on facts and that I was greatly putting my daughter at risk of serious and deadly illnesses that are quite common if she is not vaccinated.  She then handed me a bunch of literature to read and told me that she and all of her other physician friends had all completely and without any hesitation, vaccinated all of their own children.  Talk about playing on the fears of a new momma!

I cried as I walked to the car with my daughter.  On the drive home, I continued to cry.  I came home and jumped on the computer and did more research.  When my husband came home from work, I relayed everything and cried some more. 

After much crying, researching and deliberating, my husband and I decided to a do a revised version of Dr. Sears’ Alternate Vaccination Schedule.  His schedule basically breaks up all the vaccinations, so that instead of receiving 4 or 5 vaccines at one time every other month, the child would be receiving only 1 or 2 vaccines every month.  (See below for Dr. Sears’ alternate schedule*)

I then went through his schedule and made my own modifications.  I decided that my daughter didn’t need the Rotavirus, the MMR, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Chicken Pox or the Influenza vaccinations.  So to date, my little girl has only received dTap, HIB and Pneumunococcal . 

We ultimately chose this route because at the time, my mom (who lives down the street and who we constantly visit with and vice versa) was teaching at a large school where her “children” would hug, sneeze and cough all over her.  My sister was in a large inner city high school.  She, too, was always over and holding my daughter. Plus my husband was (and continues to) working two (full time) jobs.  Since we figured that there was a slight risk to some of the possibly more serious illnesses, we decided to vaccinate just against those.

So I went back a few days later to let my daughter receive her first vaccination. I cried the entire time and not just because she was crying and in pain (believe me, that was utterly heart breaking), but also because I worried about whether I had made the correct decision or not. 

The doctor agreed to let me follow this revised and split up schedule. Though, she said that there really was no reason to split up the vaccinations.  She also cautioned me that it would mean bringing my daughter to her office more often where she’d have more exposures to the sick children in her waiting room!  Also, in big giant letters in my daughter’s chart, it says “undervaccinated per parental request”.   Every time I see that, I still feel hurt and “picked on” for trying to do the best for my child.  But that’s another blog for another day.

Getting back to breastfeeding, I do have to say that the first few times my daughter was pinched with those needles, she cried and cried.  I nursed her right after and eventually that quieted her down.  However, I spoke to a mama who told me to ask if I could nurse her while she received the shot.  So the next time she was due for a vaccination, I asked the nurse if it would be ok if I nursed her while it was being administered.  I received a funny look, but the nurse said “sure, why not?”  Let me tell what a difference it made!  As my daughter was lying on the table, I took out my breast and gave it to her (being large breasted definitely helps!) and she began sucking away.  She made just a teeny cry when she was actually pricked with the needle and then nothing else – she just went on eating as if nothing had happened.  The nurse was amazed.  I felt relieved.  Every time, after that, I nursed her during the vaccination ordeal.  Ahhh, another wonder of breast feeding – it’s the all around comforter!

So not only do I not think that breast feeding needs to be delayed after the Rotavirus vaccine or any other vaccine, I believe that breastfeeding is a must during the vaccination process!  While vaccine proponents are using this study to vilify breastfeeding and are trying to scare the parents with “don’t breastfeed after a vaccination or the vaccine won’t do its job”, I’d like to counter with “Breastfeeding is the best vaccine of them all.” Don’t you agree?

*Dr. Sears’ Alternate Vaccination Schedule:

2 months
Rotavirus
DTaP

3 months
PCV
Hib

4 months
Rotavirus (second dose)
DTaP (second dose)

5 months
PCV (second dose)
Hib (second dose)

6 months
Rotavirus (third dose)
DTaP (third dose)

7 months
PCV (third dose)
Hib (third dose)

9 months
Polio
Influenza (and given every year until at least 19 years old)

12 months
Polio (second dose)
Mumps (separated from MMR)

15 months
PCV (fourth dose)
Hib (fourth dose)

18 months
DTaP (fourth dose)
Varicella

2 years
Rubella (separated from MMR)
Polio (third dose)

2 1/2 years
Hep B
Hep A

3 1/2 years
Hep B (second dose)
Measles (separated from MMR)

4 years
DTaP (fifth dose)
Polio (fourth dose)

5 years
MMR (second dose of each vaccine)

6 years
Varicella (second dose)

12 years
HPV

12 years, 2 months
HPV (second dose)

13 years
HPV (third dose)
MCV4

Psycho Killers, Anyone? Not Here!

Ever since I started breastfeeding my daughter, people were always asking me “How long are you going to breastfeed for?”  I always thought that was a weird question…especially since people started asking me when my daughter was just weeks old!   Whenever, I told people my intent to let my daughter self–wean, I received odd looks and shakes of heads.  I also heard all sorts of comments from “You shouldn’t nurse her after she gets teeth” and “You need to stop before your child can ask for it.”   Though, most people didn’t come right out and verbalize it in so many words, I know that they thought that somehow nursing an older baby/child would emotionally scar them, perhaps turn them into a psycho killer.  My own husband “Mr. Big”, whom I love and respect so much, has this fear (well not the psycho killer fear…he’s just afraid that our daughter will be “messed up”).  He was not a breastfed child, his friends were not breastfed and his friends and their wives do not breastfeed their children.  Coming from a place where formula is the norm, coupled with our society’s skewed thinking, Mr. Big is terrified that our daughter is going to have emotional issues and be scarred for life by my extended breastfeeding.

I’ve shown him tons of research to the contrary; however, that still hasn’t completely eased his mind.  So I decided to try and find some adults that were breastfed beyond infancy and see how they’re doing now. 

I found 5 people that I knew or knew of and posed the following questions to them:

1.) How old were you when you were weaned?

2.)Do you remember breastfeeding?

3.)Do you think it's affected your life in any way, good or bad? 

Out of the 5 people I asked, they all had been weaned between 2 and 3 ½ years of age.

What I found remarkable was that NONE of them remember breastfeeding – even the man (who is in his mid 20’s now) who was breastfed until 3 ½.   That just reinforced to me how normal breastfeeding is.  How many of you remember having your diaper changed or your teeth brushed?  The reason why you don’t is that those are normal activities that were part of your regular routine.  The same goes for breastfeeding.

All of these adults who are now in their 20’s and 30’s are all extremely bright and successful people.  They are all loving and generous.  Most of them reported having a close relationship with both of their parents.  None of them are emotionally off in any way.  I’m not going to claim that breastfeeding is solely responsible for these outcomes, but I know it played a part. 

Since I couldn’t personally find anyone who was breastfed beyond age 3 ½, I did turn to the internet for further research.  All the below quotes are taken from users on answers.yahoo.com, circleofmoms.com, and netmums.com.  

·        “Personally I do know a woman whose mom breastfed her until she was 4 and she is now a beautiful, healthy, well-adjusted medical student.”

·        “I know a woman that breastfed both her kids until they self-weaned. Her daughter did so at 2, her son at 3. Both of them are happy, healthy, crazy active and smart as hell.
I'm not naive enough to attribute all that to just her nursing, she's a good mom and her kids are well-adjusted. The point is that they both remember nursing, and it doesn't have a negative effect on them at all.”

·        “My cousin was breastfed until he was 4.5. He is now a well established neurosurgeon. However, I don't know if breastfeeding had anything to do with it, because both his parents are doctors. But he is very successful.”

·        “I was breastfed for five years, and I can remember breastfeeding.

To put it short, it was the best most complete loving feeling in the world. Breastfeeding nourished my soul in a way most people don't know. The bonding that happens during breastfeeding is unique and cannot be replicated.

It is also worth knowing that sudden weaning can be quite traumatic. More than you would imagine. I am happy to talk more about my experiences with anyone who has any questions.

Breastfeeding shaped the women I am today and will become in a positive way, I feel blessed to be able to remember such a beautiful loving experience. I am 19 and I am currently breastfeeding my own son who is now almost 27 months old.”

·       
“My son who is nearly 13 I breastfed till he was 4, and he remembers being breastfed without a hint of embarrassment, he remembers feeling loved and safe and secure.
My daughter - who was breastfed until she was 5 talks of similar things, she describes the delicious taste of breast milk, as tasting of "love "or her favorite "liquid jewels".”

·       
“I attended a breastfeeding group for toddlers many of the children are now 12 and 13, and I am still friends with a few of the mothers. Of the children that remember being breastfed none of them feel any negative feelings even though they remember being breastfed. My father who was born in 1925 was breastfed until he was 4, and talked of it to me. He had a little 3 legged wooden stool, which he would pull up to his Mum when he wanted a feed. He came from a large family, and he remembers breastfeeding with fondness, of his Mum taking the time to have those special moments with him.”

In conclusion, extended breastfeeding does not hurt or scar a child in any way.  In fact, it only helps and supports emotional growth and stability.  To mamas, please continue to nurse your little ones until you are both ready to wean.  Papas, please be supportive of extended breastfeeding.  Society, please realize that any disturbing thoughts YOU have about the nursing relationship between mother and child is from society’s over sexualized views.  Breasts are first and foremost made to nourish our children – both physically and emotionally.   There is nothing dirty, disturbing, or wrong about breastfeeding babies and children.  It is one of the most beautiful acts and outside of pregnancy, it is the only other time where we can help G-d and Nature produce our future generation.