Psycho Killers, Anyone? Not Here!

Ever since I started breastfeeding my daughter, people were always asking me “How long are you going to breastfeed for?”  I always thought that was a weird question…especially since people started asking me when my daughter was just weeks old!   Whenever, I told people my intent to let my daughter self–wean, I received odd looks and shakes of heads.  I also heard all sorts of comments from “You shouldn’t nurse her after she gets teeth” and “You need to stop before your child can ask for it.”   Though, most people didn’t come right out and verbalize it in so many words, I know that they thought that somehow nursing an older baby/child would emotionally scar them, perhaps turn them into a psycho killer.  My own husband “Mr. Big”, whom I love and respect so much, has this fear (well not the psycho killer fear…he’s just afraid that our daughter will be “messed up”).  He was not a breastfed child, his friends were not breastfed and his friends and their wives do not breastfeed their children.  Coming from a place where formula is the norm, coupled with our society’s skewed thinking, Mr. Big is terrified that our daughter is going to have emotional issues and be scarred for life by my extended breastfeeding.

I’ve shown him tons of research to the contrary; however, that still hasn’t completely eased his mind.  So I decided to try and find some adults that were breastfed beyond infancy and see how they’re doing now. 

I found 5 people that I knew or knew of and posed the following questions to them:

1.) How old were you when you were weaned?

2.)Do you remember breastfeeding?

3.)Do you think it's affected your life in any way, good or bad? 

Out of the 5 people I asked, they all had been weaned between 2 and 3 ½ years of age.

What I found remarkable was that NONE of them remember breastfeeding – even the man (who is in his mid 20’s now) who was breastfed until 3 ½.   That just reinforced to me how normal breastfeeding is.  How many of you remember having your diaper changed or your teeth brushed?  The reason why you don’t is that those are normal activities that were part of your regular routine.  The same goes for breastfeeding.

All of these adults who are now in their 20’s and 30’s are all extremely bright and successful people.  They are all loving and generous.  Most of them reported having a close relationship with both of their parents.  None of them are emotionally off in any way.  I’m not going to claim that breastfeeding is solely responsible for these outcomes, but I know it played a part. 

Since I couldn’t personally find anyone who was breastfed beyond age 3 ½, I did turn to the internet for further research.  All the below quotes are taken from users on answers.yahoo.com, circleofmoms.com, and netmums.com.  

·        “Personally I do know a woman whose mom breastfed her until she was 4 and she is now a beautiful, healthy, well-adjusted medical student.”

·        “I know a woman that breastfed both her kids until they self-weaned. Her daughter did so at 2, her son at 3. Both of them are happy, healthy, crazy active and smart as hell.
I'm not naive enough to attribute all that to just her nursing, she's a good mom and her kids are well-adjusted. The point is that they both remember nursing, and it doesn't have a negative effect on them at all.”

·        “My cousin was breastfed until he was 4.5. He is now a well established neurosurgeon. However, I don't know if breastfeeding had anything to do with it, because both his parents are doctors. But he is very successful.”

·        “I was breastfed for five years, and I can remember breastfeeding.

To put it short, it was the best most complete loving feeling in the world. Breastfeeding nourished my soul in a way most people don't know. The bonding that happens during breastfeeding is unique and cannot be replicated.

It is also worth knowing that sudden weaning can be quite traumatic. More than you would imagine. I am happy to talk more about my experiences with anyone who has any questions.

Breastfeeding shaped the women I am today and will become in a positive way, I feel blessed to be able to remember such a beautiful loving experience. I am 19 and I am currently breastfeeding my own son who is now almost 27 months old.”

·       
“My son who is nearly 13 I breastfed till he was 4, and he remembers being breastfed without a hint of embarrassment, he remembers feeling loved and safe and secure.
My daughter - who was breastfed until she was 5 talks of similar things, she describes the delicious taste of breast milk, as tasting of "love "or her favorite "liquid jewels".”

·       
“I attended a breastfeeding group for toddlers many of the children are now 12 and 13, and I am still friends with a few of the mothers. Of the children that remember being breastfed none of them feel any negative feelings even though they remember being breastfed. My father who was born in 1925 was breastfed until he was 4, and talked of it to me. He had a little 3 legged wooden stool, which he would pull up to his Mum when he wanted a feed. He came from a large family, and he remembers breastfeeding with fondness, of his Mum taking the time to have those special moments with him.”

In conclusion, extended breastfeeding does not hurt or scar a child in any way.  In fact, it only helps and supports emotional growth and stability.  To mamas, please continue to nurse your little ones until you are both ready to wean.  Papas, please be supportive of extended breastfeeding.  Society, please realize that any disturbing thoughts YOU have about the nursing relationship between mother and child is from society’s over sexualized views.  Breasts are first and foremost made to nourish our children – both physically and emotionally.   There is nothing dirty, disturbing, or wrong about breastfeeding babies and children.  It is one of the most beautiful acts and outside of pregnancy, it is the only other time where we can help G-d and Nature produce our future generation.